This time last week, I was beside the sea. This time tomorrow, I will be beside the sea (a different sea). Right now, I am sitting in front of a computer, typing these words, at home in London. It is my last day as a 27-year-old.
Life lately has been tumultuous, with days – and moments – that have occasionally felt like I was having to hold on tight on a boat I had little control over, sailing over almost unrelentingly choppy waters; it has been a period of living through feelings that I often want to run away from, but having the courage to sit with them. This season of life, though hard, is teaching me a lot. Old lessons are being reinforced, new ones are being discovered; I am learning of my strength, again and again.
Looking back to where I was when I entered this year, moving from 26 to 27, in a very different place, makes me visualise just how far I have come. 2016 – though it ended difficultly, with the start of this rollercoaster we’ve been on as a family for the past half a year – was a year in which I made leaps and bounds, a deeply necessary year of rediscovering myself, of choosing joy, of editing my life, and making shifts mentally. As I enter 28, I want to spend some time going over what worked in 2016, and hold on to those things. Some of the progress felt like it got put aside this year, but it is important for each and every one of us to remember: the things that help us to live our best lives are of the utmost importance.
Earlier this week, I felt as if I had slipped and moved backwards. Clouds were moving over, with barely any light pushing through. Then, my own stubborn determination crept in; I decided that I both want and need to spend some more time with a proverbial set of marker pens and a huge sheet of paper, making more plans for my life. I have a head full of dreams that I want to decipher. 28 is going to be a year of making things happen.
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.” ~ Rumi
The shifting of 2016 is different to the shifting that is taking place right now; the biggest difference is that last year I purposefully created the space to explore the things I wanted to work through, whereas this year it is taking place in the midst of – and as a response to – difficult life experiences. More and more, life is reminding me that there is always the opportunity to grow and evolve. I am returning to the things that ground me, the things that make me feel most alive.
At this point in time, I am both working on the foundation of my inner home – strengthening the walls, repairing any damage – and holding on to the desire to create the life I want to lead. One of the biggest things I did for myself this past year – getting a cochlear implant – is slowly helping me to remember my own courage. I am welcoming 28 with lots of love, opening myself to all the possibility that a new year holds.
“Small shifts in your thinking, and small changes in your energy, can lead to massive alterations of your end result.” ~ Kevin Michel
Goodbye, 27; thank you for everything. Let’s go, 28.
Turn the page.