A little farewell love letter to 2016, a year that gave space to grow into the person I want to be.
It started on the top of Primrose Hill, with a few tears that escaped my eyes due to letting go of 2015; that was a hard, hard year. I let the tears fall, because I knew I was going to make this year a beautiful one. I could feel in my bones that it was going to be a year of healing, of adding good things to my life, of moving forward. The only way all of that happened was because I made it happen. I understood that my destiny is in my own hands, and I have the power to make my life into anything I want it to be. Those tears that fell were also happy tears, and they washed away the heartache of 2015.
We said goodbye to our beloved Granny, a year after she left us. We placed her ashes in the ground, and my heart cried in a way it hadn’t been able to before.
In February, the boy and I went on an adventure to Copenhagen, and I will blog about that trip in the New Year…
The Spring saw me work through how I was feeling about people. I slowly began to open up again to friends, and realised just how strong some of my friendships are. As the flowers began to bloom, so did the blooms of my relationships.
In the Spring, I also started to go through the cochlear implant assessment process. After the ups and downs, and having no real idea if I actually wanted one or not, I made the decision. I went ahead.
I felt lucky, again and again, to have friends with whom the roots go deep, because even though I’ve learnt that I am a very individual person, it is a huge comfort to know that you have people cheering you on.
In November, I did a scary thing. All year, I had been making leaps and bounds with letting go of all the things that pulled my heart down in 2015; I was learning to fly again. But, and this was a big but, there was one thing that I couldn’t fully accept, and I couldn’t move on; I tried so many different ways of thinking about it, yet I kept going back to square one. So…in November, I wrote a little something, and sent it out into the Universe, without getting any hopes up. To my (happy) surprise, something came back to me. Someone returned. It was time. Sometimes you just have to give things time. You can’t force things, but you can have faith in the fact that sometimes, sometimes things do work out.
The boy and I created our own little space together: #mastheloft (The Loft). It has been such a lovely experience to finally have a space of our own, together, after all these years.
In the Summer, the boy and I went to the Isle of Wight with my parents, and spent a long, happy weekend with them enjoying the Isle of Wight Festival. (The links take you to happy pictures from that weekend, on Instagram.)
The boy and I also ran away to Cornwall for a lovely week in July:
(And a seagull tried to steal my ice-cream, thus making me eternally scared of them now…did make a cracking photo, though.)
I took photos:
I loved, and loved, and loved – ’cause all you need is love:
I spent time by the sea:
…and in the city:
I wrote to my loves:
…and got myself a lovely pen-pal:
I read a lot of books:
I spent a lot of time with myself, with my thoughts.
It was the year of healing.
It was a year of courage.
It was good.
There have been difficult times, of course, but the year has been full of goodness. The past month has been hard, with our wonderful Mum in hospital, but we are hoping to have her home soon. We are hoping for better health in 2017.
I know that gratitude is the key.
There is beauty in every day.
I am heading in to the New Year with a full heart.
I am going to use Courage as my word for 2017, and I am sure it will guide me throughout the year.
Tonight I am going to spend some time with my Mum in the hospital, and then spend the last few hours of this year, and the first few hours of 2017 with a handful of people I love. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, I wish you a very Happy New Year; and I send out lots of wishes that it will be a good one for us all.