Sometimes the thought of all the things I want to do overwhelms me; I start thinking too far ahead and wondering why I’m not there yet. On one hand, it has been a really, really good year, with positive changes and growth in many different areas of my life. On the other hand, some things have taken longer than I wanted, but such is life. I will get there.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about the feel of Sarah Emma Photography. With business, there seems to be two ways you can go – especially if you’re a small business – and this is something I’ve put a lot of thought into. One way is to create a business that is all about the products/service, which would mean that Sarah Emma Photography would solely be about the photographs and I would not have a big personal role within the business aside from the photography. The other way is to inject yourself into the business, to make it more personal; and this is the route I think I will be taking. There are a lot of forks in this road I’m travelling down – there have already been many times where I’ve had to decide on an either/or and travel down a path, leaving behind the alternative option. It’s been making for an interesting journey so far.
Taking the personal route means that I can give myself permission to show my real, authentic self on here – and in all other areas. This is important to me, and I am only just realising this now. When I tap into my introspection, I discover new reasons behind past events. With distance, I learn more about the feelings I had at different points in my life, and with the new insight I am able to steer my current path. Throughout my 20s I have tried many different things, and whilst I started these endeavours with a positive mindset, I often fell into darkness by the end of them. Looking back has shown me different reasons and causes for these, but one of them, consistently, is that I really resented that line between being me and being who I had to be to get the job done. Merging the two seemed to be a struggle, and so I usually ended up pushing down on who I was in order to be who I needed to be for others. This has always backfired rather spectacularly in my face.
From this point forward, I will aim to just be. No rules. No expectations. Just my photography…and me. It might not be for everyone, but that is okay, because for some this will be exactly what they want. It may take a while to get there, but good things will come. Already, I am building a little community and feeling accepted. If you see others, really see them, and accept them exactly as they are, then you’re doing a pretty good job. Even if you’re struggling to accept them as they are, just keep going, keep working at it; we are all human, and we need the love of those around us.
Right here, right now. Just as I am in this moment in time. Just as you are. I see you. I accept you. Shall we have some hot chocolate, cake, and talk a while?
Happy Tuesday. Happy November.